So I Got Fired Yesterday

Yep, I got canned. It’s kind of the worst feeling, and it’s embarrassing, and my first instinct was to not let anyone ever know this really humiliating thing happened to me. In fact, I fibbed to one of my closest friends yesterday when I told her I couldn’t make it to the girl’s night out we’d planned because I’d “quit” my job and was upset about it (really sorry, Shadin).

Then I talked to my husband, who also got fired last year. He decided then not to take his employer’s offer to say it was a mutual agreement, not really a firing. I asked him why he would not take that opportunity to save face, and he said because it’s liberating to tell the truth. The job wasn’t right for him, and he got fired, why sugarcoat it? That got me thinking about my own hesitation to admit the truth of my shitcanning.

Then we picked up our daughter from daycare. As I waited for her caretaker to open the door, I was overwhelmed by the feeling that what’s on the other side of that door is what’s most important. Then it opened, and she gave me that smile and ran to me like I was the the most awesome person on earth.

I see quotes about how failure is good and necessary all over social media every day.

Here’s a great one from Maya Angelou:

“Courage allows the successful woman to fail-
and learn powerful lessons-
from the failure-
so that in the end,
she didn’t fail at all.”

Various outlets publish tons of lists of quotes on failure every year—but hardly anyone talks about their actual failures (Here’s one exception).

While reading the quotes makes me feel not as terrible, facing what’s real feels even less terrible. I want to live up to that awesome-person status, which would seem to require being an honest person. I got fired yesterday, y’all. I did some good writing at that job and I’m proud of my work. In the end it wasn’t enough, and it’s time to move on. So here’s to what’s next… omg what is next? I’ll try to figure that out over the weekend. Check back Monday, won’t you?

High Tops Sneaks for Healthy Feet and Youthful Feelings

Converse has a whole new color palette for their classic Chuck Taylor design. Major designers have really cute ones right now. Freda Salvador’s Sneak version is still going strong. And, best of all, a pair of crazy-colorful DC high tops saved my foot.

A few weeks ago I injured the ball of my foot in dance class, and I didn’t think I was going to be able to dance in the Pride parade. It really hurt. Obviously I am no podiatrist, so please see a doctor if you have an injury. But in this particular case, I had a sense that my foot needed super stable shoes that would act almost like a cast (and I was too lazy/in denial to make a doctor appointment). So I bought these DC high tops—bonus that they were over-the-top bright and inexpensive. And they were awesome! The relatively flat sole, excessive cushioning and high-top support stabilized my foot enough to get me through the parade. And I got mad compliments on my colorful footwear.

Again, don’t be like me and try to treat your own injury. Jenn Pattee of Basic Training told me that’s like putting your broken down car in the garage and expecting it to fix itself. But the high tops did the trick, at least temporarily (ok yes I’m icing and I will go to the doctor if it gets worse). Also now I’m obsessed and want more. The wedge style seems to be still going strong, but I’m kind of favoring the old school flat-soled look, especially since these days I’m chasing after a two-year-old. The other bonus is I feel like a total kid when I’m wearing them.

Pride Parade, San Francisco, 2014

Dudley Flores, our fearless leader, et moi

Dudley Flores, our fearless leader, et moi

This was my second year dancing in SF’s Gay Pride with Rhythm and Motion program. Last year I wrote about being really nervous at the beginning, but feeling more confident as the parade progressed. This year, maybe because I’d gotten one more year of dance under my belt, or maybe just because I’m a year older, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was just feeling free to be you and me (remember that song?) with these awesome people.

before parade

The parade seemed longer this year, there was a lot of waiting around at the beginning and I was pooped by the end! I can only imagine how Dudley, creative director of Rhythm and Motion, and the other teachers must have felt after organizing and instructing all day, bless them. Speaking of, our group (go group C!) owes a huge thanks to Rebecca Sunderland Setziol for being an amazing leader. Here are a few snaps and the video below where you can check out our contingency in action. I like the part when Dudley blows his whistle and I freeze to prepare for the slide/punch move, HAHA.

Don’t tell anyone but I wore the same thing to the parade last year, except of course for our new R&M tank tops. The skirt is Gat Rimon from Mira Mira. It’s perfect for dancing! I did also get new sneakers—they’re DC high tops. Stay tuned for more about my current high tops obsession.

#TBT Fun at Mira Mira, Then and Now (Ladies Night Is Tonight!)

Photo by Molly DeCoudreaux

Almost exactly two years ago, I asked my friend Mira Pickett, who owns the boutique Mira Mira in the Mission, to style me for a photo shoot for this blog. The concept was “undone done,” a way of dressing the two of us had bonded on when we first met. Since it’s Thursday (#TBT!) I figured it was a propos to dig up one of those photos. As you can tell, we had a blast!

I’m so excited that two years later we’re even better friends, and that TONIGHT we’re collaborating again, this time on a Ladies Night event at the shop with eyewear startup Brownie and Madam. Get a personal styling session from a Brownie and Madam stylist, plus 10 percent off if you order glasses. You’ll also get 15 percent off everything at Mira Mira during the party.
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Happy 1.5 Miss Frida


Last weekend, we made our second trip to Blink, where these photos were taken. If you need portraits or any type of professional photos, it’s a fantastic place. They’re fast, inexpensive, and they take amazing photographs. I wrote more about how it works here. They also recently moved to a new, fabulous location at the Corte Madera Town Center.

I thought these photos would be a nice way to commemorate Frida’s 18-month birthday, which is on Sunday, January 12. It’s so hard to believe she’s been in our lives for a year and a half. It was four days after she was born that we got the call around 10am on a Monday. We picked her up at SF General at 5pm that same day. When we arrived, the birth family was still there, and we had to wait in a small room with a social worker from  Family Builders (a wonderful organization for anyone considering adoption). Sitting still is always a challenge for me, and in that holding cell I felt I was bouncing off of the walls. We waited maybe 20 minutes but it felt like hours.
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Why Fashion Needs Small Town Peeps

Simon Doonan and me
Simon Doonan and Me


Simon Doonan was in town recently to promote his new book The Asylum: A Collage of Couture Reminiscences… and Hysteria, and I had an appointment to interview him at 2:30pm, ahead of his signing at Barneys at 3 pm. I needed to brush up on him—I knew he’d been a window dresser at Barneys and worked his way up the ranks there, and that he was a snappy dresser himself, but I needed to learn more to do an intelligent interview. So I Googled him (naturally), and came across an excerpt from the book at Slate about Kate Moss. It turned out to be the perfect read before the interview for its extensive discussion about the plusses of being from a “crap town.” He’s from Reading, outside of London, and he writes that Kate Moss is from an equally crap town in a different area outside London, as was the photographer who’s responsible for making Moss a household name.

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An Encounter With Anna Della Russo

Upon exiting the Michael Kors runway show at Lincoln Center in New York, I sensed a swarm. I quickly narrowed in on the target of the buzz: it was none other than Vogue Japan editor and street style queen bee Anna Della Russo wearing golden Tom Ford metal brace boots. And a very short dress. Oh and that’s the T: New York Times Style Magazine editor-in-chief Stefano Tonchi walking with her, ho hum. As you can see, photographers got excited. And while she was stone faced, she humored one photographer’s request to stand in the middle of the street so he could get the shot he wanted. She then walked away, all alone. 

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New York Fashion Week Part 2: In the Front Row With Olivia Palermo

Hi, so I might just now be recovering from New York Fashion Week, even though I’m still playing catch up with all the stuff that went unaddressed while I was galavanting on the other side of the country for a week. But still I had to brag a little about how I was in the front row (with my partner in crime, Grace Sun) at the Bibhu Mohapatra runway show with a real live famous person: Olivia Palermo. Maybe it’s more accurate to say she’s a reality TV famous person. Or at this point maybe a fashion famous person, because when I told my family in Pennsylvania they had no idea who I was talking about. In any case, I have evidence! And while we were seated across the aisle from each other with models tromping between us, I feel we had a connection. I couldn’t see her eyes through those reflective lenses (can you find her in my photos below?), but I could swear she winked at me.