In June, on Adoption Day. Photo by Jen Sullivan Brych
It’s January 2, but I’m still clinging to 2013, because it has, exaggerated as it might sound, been the best year of my life. In 2013, the husband and I adopted a baby. 2012 was pretty good, too, because that’s when we first laid eyes on her.
She was four days old, and I wore my Rick Owens booties, the most expensive single piece of clothing I’d ever bought, and my favorite Bob Dylan t-shirt, gifted when I joined the singer’s fan club circa 1992. It seemed important to wear my most favorite clothing. I would soon learn the only important relationship between infant care and clothes was comfort. And stain camouflage.
The adoption was final in June 2013 when she was just shy of a year old. I never in a kajillion years could have predicted I would love being a mom. Don’t tell anyone but I secretly but seriously thought I might not like it very much.
Therefore, I can’t explain why I tried so very hard to have a child. All of the biological efforts gave way to this moment at San Francisco General in favorite clothes.
All mothers say being a mom is the hardest job you’ll ever love and that you won’t believe how much you can love another human and blah blah blah. I didn’t buy it. No sleep for months on end sounded like the opposite of happy. How could a small human screaming at the cafe for another donut also bring joy? Primary-colored toys littering a your muted mid-century living room—was it really worth it? Maybe we would would just travel the world as we got older and spend our money on things that didn’t poop and barf, like fine leather goods and designer dresses.
But, while silk dresses do make me smile, they don’t have a first smile. My Rick Owens booties, though I love them deeply, alas, have never grabbed my toe and said “TOE!” And a Chloe handbag, drop dead gorgeous as it is, will never giggle hysterically no matter now much I tickle it under the chin (Oh yes it has a chin).
The other thing everyone always says is that being a mom only getting gets better. This time I guess I’ll go out on a limb and believe the hype. OK 2014, let’s do this thing.